Interviews with the LGBTQ Community

Although our society still isn’t as open-minded and accepting of the LGBTQ community as it could be, children are slowly being exposed to various sexual identities and gender expressions. People are learning more about themselves and slowly settling into their true identities. With more and more teenagers these days feeling more empowered and ready to share their sexualities with others, it is important to hear from them about their views and their stories to encourage a society that progresses towards love and acceptance. I have interviewed three LGBTQ teens about their experiences and their journey of learning to be their true selves. (names are not given to protect identities; some answers have been edited for length)

1. How did you realise that you weren’t straight? How was the experience in a society where we’re constantly being bombarded by themes of compulsory heteronormativity?

A: A part of me has always known I wasn’t straight, but as I grew older and learned about sexuality and gender, I found a whole community of people like me. I remember our 7th grade history teacher giving us a lesson on the history behind the LGBTQ community and the meaning behind every letter. That class was probably my full awakening. I had always heard of bisexuality, but having someone in your life to reinforce the diversity of the community helped me come to terms with who I was.

K: I had watched a movie about a gay couple, which led to me to start questioning my sexuality. I realised I was gay soon after that. In our society, it was definitely hard initially because everyone thought I changed or became a new person, but they failed to realise I was still just a normal guy doing my own thing.

M: I had a crush on a girl at one of my camps. At that time, I didn’t know anything about being straight, gay or bi. But later, around 7th and 8th grade when people started talking about it, I realised “Oh, yeah, that’s me. I like both boys and girls.” And it wasn’t like people were homophobic to me or anything.

2. Have you come out to your parents? If not, do you think they would be supportive?

A: I have not come out to my parents, but I think my mother is quite supportive. We’ve had conversations about the community before, and she’s always been open-minded and accepting.

K: No, but I don’t think they’d be supportive because we belong to an orthodox family and apparently “being gay isn’t natural”.

M: I have come out to my parents and family, and they were totally supportive. I knew they would be, because I’ve had conversations with them about gay marriage and gay status in India and stuff like that. Of course, I was scared to come out to them, but when I did, my father’s first question was “Do you have a girlfriend? Can I meet her?”. So even though India is a country where homophobia is a real problem, my friends and family have always been super supportive.

3. Has there ever been a time where you, as a member of the LGBTQ community, have experienced any oppression (whether actively or passively) from the regressive thoughts and actions of the Indian society?

A: I’ve been lucky enough to grow up in a sheltered, privileged environment where everyone I’ve come out to has accepted me fully, but I do know that’s not the car everywhere. There was a person in my life with whom I was not allowed to pursue a relationship, although we had feelings for each other, because we were scared people might get to know. We had to sacrifice being happy because we knew that there would eventually be hate.

K: As a member of the society we live in, unfortunately there is some form of discrimination amongst friend groups and amongst people I know. Secondly, Indian society is complicated and the fact that there is a law that states we cannot get married because then we may have freedom of choice and expression, but not the freedom to marry who we want.

M: I haven’t felt any oppression as a bisexual person. My family’s always been very accepting, even my grandparents. So that way, I’m really lucky because my entire family accepts me.

4. To people who are allies, what are some ways they can show their support in daily life for the LGBTQ community, that you feel are most required?

A: If you’re an ally, do everything you can to be anti-homophobic. Internalised homophobia exists in a lot of places, and we need to actively educate people to be more open-minded. Seemingly small things like calling someone ‘gay’ as an insult have quite a large effect on a lot of people. Be loving, be supporting and let the people around you who are part of the community know that they are loved and appreciated.

K: Just be yourselves, and let the rest be themselves. I don’t think there’s anything specifically. Just let people’s sexuality be their own decisions and don’t decide for them. Be who you want to be and don’t care about what others are.

M: It’s the small things. Make everyone feel comfortable. Before I came out, this guy in my school and I would talk about girls and getting together with girls, and even though he didn’t say anything about me being bi, he made me feel comfortable.

The LGBTQ community has faced so many struggles to get to the point it is at currently. And even though there is an immense amount of progress left to be made, if we as a society start paying a little more attention to what we say and do, we can get there one step at a time. Talking to people in the community and asking them about how they feel and what you can do to make the world a safer place for them is of utmost importance. The power of a little more kindness and a little less ignorance is often underestimated, and even the smallest actions go a long way.